Truly Cheesy Dialogue

[Laslo Hollyfeld]

So I was thinking of some really awful lines of dialogue that actually made it to the screen. These are lines that are so bad that you wonder who actually had the stones to put them on paper in the first place.

Keep in mind that I'm not talking about potentially decent dialogue that suffered from poor delivery, as in the case of virtually anything uttered by Hayden Christiansen in Attack of the Clones or Revenge of the Sith.

With that in mind, here's one of my votes:

There's the climactic line from the laughably bad, yet surprisingly gory Sci-Fi
channel staple, Dog Soldiers. It's about some Scottish army guys who run into a pack of werewolves while on a training mission. A young woman who lives nearby helps them out, until it's revealed that SHE is actually the head werewolf!! (Sorry if that ruined it for anyone...) Anyway, as she is about to transform into a werewolf, she says with a completley straight face:

"It's that time of the month!"

I know it hurts, but what else should be on this list?

[The Movie Mark]

I would go so far as to nominate the entire screenplay for Michael Pare's Strip Search. But I'll narrow it down to four painfully laughable lines from the movie:

4. "Nobody takes my brother's thumb and uses it for a sideshow."

3. "This thumb brings me great pleasure."

2. "There's a little piece of you in me and I think if you look hard enough you'll find a little piece of me in you."

And the most laughable line from a script full of side-splitters is...

1. "You're makin' my big toe bounce in my boot."

[Laslo Hollyfeld]

The bowel-hurtingly bad King Kong Lives was on the other night (Oh Linda Hamilton...did you need the money that badly?) and there was this exchange:

Linda Hamilton and some lantern-jawed hero type are watching Kong and Lady Kong snuggle, and they decide to set up camp nearby. They begin to kiss, whereupon the hero type asks "are you sure about this?" Linda Hamilton responds, "Why not? We're primates too."

Now, the fact that they got turned on by watching giant apes cuddle is bad enough...but come on!

[The Movie Mark]

laslohollyfeld said:

They begin to kiss, whereupon the hero type asks "are you sure about this?" Linda Hamilton responds, "Why not? We're primates too."

Now, the fact that they got turned on by watching giant apes cuddle is bad enough...but come on!

Somebody, somewhere, got paid to write that line. A budget was given to this movie. It's amazing that movie studios last as long as they do.