Ways to tell if J.K. Rowlings Phones it in

[The Movie Mark]

I know the (supposedly) final Harry Potter has been released and the following has either happened or not, but I'll never read the book and have no idea what happens. And who knows, the story might not really be complete.

So I hope some of these ideas will come to pass so that I can forever make fun of Potter fans:

1) Voldemort reveals that he's Harry's real father. Harry would of course then whine, "No! It's not true!"

2) Hermione turns out to be Harry's twin sister.

3) Two more Harry books will be announced: Harry Potter: Voldemort Strikes Back and Harry Potter: The Return of the Magi.

4) Dumbledore is killed in a climactic showdown with Voldemort, claiming, "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine."

5) It is revealed that Voldemort is under the power of a mysterious robed figure known as The Warlock. As the Warlock is unleashing a powerful spell on Harry (a spell that is accompanied by what looks to be lightning shooting from the fingertips), Lord Voldemort commits one last act of goodness as he picks up The Warlock and tosses him over a Hogwarts balcony.

6) Ron leaves Hogwarts and ventures off on his own, changing his name to Ron Solo.

7) The spirits of Dumbledore, Voldemort Broomrider, and Yoda will forever watch over Harry and Hermione.

Of course, this will lead to three prequels that will tell the story of Voldemort and how he was seduced to the "dark side."

The Phoenix Menace
The Attack of the Drones
The Revenge of the 'Griff

[trantee]

ROFL !!!

Don't forget to mention that Hagrid once will change his name to Chewbuccu
And Hedwig magically grows 3 wheels instead of his paws, can no longer fly and makes weird bleeping sounds...

[MsCali]

Um, not to spoil the books if either of you haven't read them, but Dumbledore died in the last book! If you're going to make fun of the series, get it right! Gees!

LOL

I have to say, JB, you might be surprised and actually like the books (except for book 5, the one that should have been called "Harry Potter is a Whiney *itch" instead of "The Order of the Phoenix"). Every time I read one, I'm surprised again at how well written they are.

Book 7 is by far my favorite though. It's worth reading the rest of the series just to get to that one - it's much darker and more adult than the rest.

[MsAng]

DITTO, Ms. Cali. I think Book 7 is my favorite as well. My husband didn't like the ending, or the last chapter, he would have preferred it be dark and weird. My favorite until then had been book 3.

[Huey N]

>.< Someone told me the ending in an online game >.< times one million.

But anyway Johnny I have to say this.

"Stuppiddddd Dumbeldore died in the last book, everyone knows that sheesh do you live in a cave?"

^^response you would have gotten in any other ofrum

[trantee]

So you see .. 1 JB-Fact has already been proven !!

He's the new messias, i'll tell you

[The Movie Mark]

mscali said:

Um, not to spoil the books if either of you haven't read them, but Dumbledore died in the last book! If you're going to make fun of the series, get it right! Gees!

LOL

It was a trick. Now you just saved me two and a half hours because I don't have to see the next film!

mscali said:

I have to say, JB, you might be surprised and actually like the books

Even though I'm not crazy about the movies? I don't doubt that they're well-written, but it's hard to convince myself to plow through 900 pages when I've got so many other books on my list.

[The Movie Mark]

nabe3 said:

>.< Someone told me the ending in an online game >.< times one million.

But anyway Johnny I have to say this.

"Stuppiddddd Dumbeldore died in the last book, everyone knows that sheesh do you live in a cave?"

^^response you would have gotten in any other ofrum

Actually, that was much kinder. Other forums would have brought my mother into the subject and would have likely informed me of just where to insert my jokes.

But Trantee is correct - I'm kind of like a movie prophet. Enjoy these times, my friends, these times whilst I walk amongst you.

[tangentgirl]

I'll be interested to see how they make the seventh book into a movie. It would have to be PG-13 at the very least.

It was bloodbath!!! Chapter 4?? sets the tone for the rest of the book.

And that's all I'm gonna say on this matter as others may not have finished reading it yet. By the end of the book, I was so desensitized that I didn't even shed a tear.

Up until now... number 3 was my favorite, too. smile.

[Huey N]

tangentgirl said:

I'll be interested to see how they make the seventh book into a movie. It would have to be PG-13 at the very least.

It was bloodbath!!! Chapter 4?? sets the tone for the rest of the book.

Ya I was wondering that as I read as-well.

There were several murders, and (it seems to me more cursing), and the such.

I do not know what was in chapter 4 and am too lazy to go find the book and read it >.<.

But I do have this to say, think about this book and the first and they seem like two different series's. This one was basically a (very) long allusion to The Nazis, and Hitler (*spoiler* The Griendwald guy was over thrown in 1945 I believe).

So this is much darker than everything and I for one will be laughing my *** off if Harry Potter manages to get a R rating.

[MsCali]

JB, I really do think you would enjoy them. I mean, this book was 750+ pages, but I read it in about 6 hours. The 900 page book was 4-6 hours (seriously, they are written for children, so they have a lot of pages, but large writing and like 4" margins).

This book was incredibly dark and grown up. If it gets less than a PG-13 rating when it's made into a movie, I probably won't see it. There's just no way they can capture it properly in a PG movie.

Ms. Ang, I liked the last chapter, but didn't really care for the Epilogue. It seemed kind of cliched to me. I did like how everything turned out though.

Heh...I even managed to like Harry for most of this one! He got a little whiney in places, but that's it.